contented mundanity of murmuring two moons
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I want to and I don't want to.

I want to be mature and immature.
I want to be playful and serious.
I want to be happy and complex.
I want to be self-centered and be aware of others' pain.
I want to be social and lonely.
I want to be sexually attractive and innocent.
I want to share my life with other people and still I cannot give up something for them.
I want to be ambiguous and black and white.
I want to be cold and critical, and loving.
I want to feel secure and do not want to see what is going to happen tomorrow.

The whole myself is making sense so much to me.
It simply does not fit the world, where people seek for solid fixed selves and expect you to be consistent.

People talk about diversity without having it in themselves. They're just saying it. They are not going to embrace it, nor love it for sure. They're afraid of losing simplisity and facing contradictions.

I want something I don't have. Call it greediness, youth, or split. I don't care. I just want to see more. I don't wanna be blind to some parts of the world just because I'm not born with their quality.

I thought I did know what I want and I don't know anymore.
I thought I knew what I was doing and I feel like I was doing all wrong now.
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